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Since we are born we can feel fear, fear is an emotion that allows us to be aware of what is happening around us in order to be safe from any dangerous situation. For this reason, from a very young age, your child may be afraid of noises, strangers or that you are separated from him.
Crying, yelling, or being afraid is part of the process of growing up. We are all afraid and depending on the stage in which your child is going to develop one or the other. The problem is not fear itself, but how to react when it appears. Sometimes a fear is temporary or becomes permanent will be the result of how you can manage it when it occurs. So today we talk to you of the most common errors that magnify the problem and they are not going to help your son.
1. Threaten with fear: There are many moments when situations overcome us and for this we resort to fear to obey us. The classics 'Sleep, the bogeyman is coming' will help you to fall asleep on time but will generate a problem in him that he did not have. We must be careful with the things we say and the fantastic beings we talk about, especially because it is likely that we will achieve our short-term goal but what we have taught you is to do things out of fear of what might happen to you and not because he understood anything.
2. Press: You know that if your child faces that fear, they will be able to overcome it. So sometimes we end up pushing him too hard to fight that fear. It is preferable that you take small steps and motivate him when he does, than force him to overcome it. Sometimes you care more than the child himself to offer the security that seems to be lacking. However, it is important to know that each child has their own rhythms and the most important thing is that they gradually achieve their goal without feeling that they fail you if they cannot overcome it or that you compare them with the rest. For some, one step is already telling you and for others it is to put their stuffed animal aside for a few minutes.
3. Ridicule: Depending on the stage there are many fears that seem unjustified to us and may seem absurd to us, such as being afraid of monsters or fear of the toilet bowl. The point is that these fears generate real consequences in your child, submitting the time of the bath, sleeping or separating from you as a distressing situation. For that alone, you must listen to him with all the understanding and empathy he needs, calling him a 'chicken' is not going to help him to have the courage he needs.
4. Avoid: We need our children to be safe and if we know that they are going to suffer, what is the point of exposing them to that situation? Therefore, we forbid him those things that we know will scare him, we do many things for him so as not to expose him and we justify his fears so that he realizes that we understand him. However, we do not think that it is more important to offer you tools to overcome it and in this way we can give you the confidence to face any other problem that arises in life.
5. Ignore: Many times we think that it is a stage and that it will surely be resolved if we do not listen to their fears and give them more importance than they have. However, these not only will not disappear but will damage the relationship with your child, since he will lose confidence in you and when he has another problem he will know that you are not the best person to tell him about it. The best thing is that you talk to him to find out the causes and let him express himself and be honest with you.
You can read more articles similar to 5 mistakes parents make when dealing with their children's fear, in the category of Fears on site.