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Would your child need to see you to know that it is you? Would I need to listen to you? The answer is No. A resounding no. It would be enough for him to approach you, touch you, feel you. It is the maternal bond, an invisible bond that unites children with their mothers since one day another (physical) bond united them. But this other bond, the one that cannot be seen, you have been building and strengthening every day.
What is the first thing a mother does when she sees her child for the first time? Hug him. What is the first thing the baby does? Feel your mother's skin. Listen to your heartbeat. That scene is the beginning of a relationship that will unite them forever. It does not matter how many times the mother changes her hair color, or what clothes she wears. It doesn't matter if you change your voice or the perfume you use. Your child will be able to recognize it anyway.
Seven mothers, dressed similarly. Seven children who have to point to their mother. It will not be easy. In this experiment, children approach them with their eyes covered. The little ones don't hesitate for a second. They are very clear about it: it is enough for them to approach their mother to recognize her. The explanation is this: connection. A connection that does not understand meanings. It is not the smell, nor the voice. Not even touch. It's something more. A spark, a sensation. Something immaterial that escapes reason.
But ... does this mean that a father cannot also have a bond with his son? The bond that unites mothers and children is built day by day. It is built on the basis of hugs, kisses, positive phrases. It is built on the basis of dedicated time. And of love, of course. Therefore, an adopting mother can also build a bond with her child. And also a father can have a powerful bond with his son. And why not, a grandfather.
What really creates the link is undoubtedly the connection. That ability to communicate with your child without words. To know what you feel. So: spend time with your child. Strengthen the bond every day. Hug him, look him in the eye. Let me talk to you. Give him a caress. And never forget to kiss her.
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