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The foundation of sexuality is laid by the education given to the child. Sexuality starts with the process of discovering the child's own body and continues with games. Psychologist Eda Gökduman describes sexual development and sexual education process in children.

Sexuality; A healthy person holds an important place in the profile. The foundation of sexuality is laid by the education given to the child. Sexuality starts with the process of discovering the child's own body and continues with games. Many parents do not know what to do when confronting the child's sexual-evoking behavior and confuse these behaviors with adult sexuality. However, child sexuality is completely different from adult sexuality and is considered a normal process in the development of the child. First thing parents should know about sexual education; to be calm and to accept that this discovery is a natural process.

Sexual discoveries increase with the age of two years. In this period; it starts with the child touching his genitals during the process of nurturing and toilet training and discovering the different emotions he enjoys in these touches. This behavior, which starts at first in games, can be repeated frequently with conscious touches. Trying to prevent this behavior attracts the child's attention more and increases his curiosity. In particular, the stubbornness of the two-year-old child reinforces this behavior. Continuous warnings can cause the child to feel guilty and feel that they have made a mistake. When this behavior was observed to be too much; The presence of some stressful factors in the child may be considered. Although this behavior is considered a natural process, its frequency is important. This behavior is observed more frequently in children who are left alone, bored, unable to find a playmate, constantly blocked, pressured in nutrition - toilet training and inward - looking structure. These reasons should be identified and necessary precautions should be taken by the parents. It is observed that the frequency of these behaviors increases during sleep periods. Therefore, our recommendation; especially during this period, the child is not laid in bed before sleep or until he falls asleep.

Sexual information in the age range of 3-5 years is desired to be learned more by children. Whoever the question is asked must answer. When a girl asks a father a question, yönlendirme Ask your mother. Yönlendirme The child will have a negative impression.

Nasıl How was I born? How do babies come from the world? Why doesn't my friend at school have a cock? Why is he standing in the toilet? ”
These questions should never be left unanswered. The answers should be in a language that the child can understand and appropriate for their age. You can examine the bodies of men and women in child sexual education books together. You can identify the genitals with their scientific names. If you are surprised with the question, do not feel it if you do not know how to answer it. Keep in mind that it follows your every reaction. You will learn that sexuality is a normal process with your natural behavior and comfortable explanations. You can see that they are trying to recognize each other's sexual organs in their games with friends. Don't be surprised by the behaviors of husband and wife, lovers, kissing and so on. You should not react to these games by being angry and shame. Explain to him calmly how to play with his friend.

You can tell that it is natural for him to wonder about things, that his friend and his genitals are special to him, that only his doctor and his parents can touch when it hurts. Giving examples from yourself can ease her.
Curiosity about the parent's genitals and sexual life may also begin. When the father goes to the toilet, the mother may try to secretly watch them while taking a bath. Here, instead of giving information about sex life, it would be useful to state that it is special for parents. Detailed information can confuse a child of this age. In order to avoid such questions, it is necessary to prevent parents or older siblings from walking around the house naked, not taking a bath together and sleeping in the same bed. Therefore, we emphasize the drawbacks of sleeping with many families. With bed meetings in the morning, you can satisfy your longing for bed.

If the child sees the mother or father naked incidentally, it should not be avoided immediately and calmly covered, it should be mentioned that the body of the man or woman may change as it grows. Parents should give importance to privacy in their sexual life. A child who witnesses sexual activity will not perceive this process mentally, but will also experience anxiety. It is also necessary to pay attention to efforts such as constant avoidance and hiding. These behaviors may increase the curiosity of the child more. There is no harm in carrying out behaviors like hugging and kissing each other. This is a behavior that only shows that the parents love each other and will affect the child's emotional development positively.
Communication between the child and the family is very important. A healthy sexual education can be provided through a healthy communication. Sexual education; it should be given by the parent in accordance with all ages. Children who are not given enough information in time can try to satisfy their curiosity in different ways - hidden and dangerous. This leads to false learning. A healthy sexual development during childhood will form the basis of sexuality during adolescence and adulthood. Sexual development during adolescence is much more difficult with the presence of the changing body. Sexual information before puberty is also very important for the child in the growth process.

If you feel that you feel inadequate during the sexual education process you give your child and you do not know what to do, you can get an expert counseling.

Christmas postcard with bells. Felt crafts

The best solutions for strengthening the immune system!

The best solutions for strengthening the immune system!
How to talk to your grade-schooler about death

What to expect at this age

Death is one of the hardest subjects to broach with children, especially when you're struggling to deal with your own sorrow. But death is also an inescapable part of life, and children want to understand it and find ways to grieve that feel natural.

At this age, kids are starting to understand that death is permanent and inevitable, says Michael Towne, a child-life specialist who works with grieving families at the University of California-San Francisco Medical Center.

They know — intellectually, if not emotionally — that it can happen to young people as well as the elderly. They may fear that death is contagious in some way, and they're likely to personify it, thinking of death in terms of a ghost or a hooded Grim Reaper.

Unless they've had young friends or siblings who've died, though, grade-schoolers still don't think death can happen to them. They feel they can somehow outwit or escape it. But if they have had a sibling or young friend who died, they may be deeply shocked and terrified.

Kids react to death in a variety of ways. Don't be surprised if your child becomes clingy, overly quiet, or suddenly balks at going to school. After all, the world may suddenly seem ominous to her in a way that it hadn't before.

On the other hand, she may not show any reaction to the death at all, or her responses may be intermittent, mixed in with her usual cheerfulness and play.

This is normal, too. Children process grief in bite-sized chunks, not all at once. And many delay grieving until they feel it's safe to let those feelings out — a process that could take months or even years, particularly if they've lost a parent or a sibling.

How to explain death to your grade-schooler

Don't dodge her questions. It's normal for your child to be curious about death, even if she hasn't yet lost a loved one. In fact, less emotionally fraught times are good opportunities for laying groundwork that will help your child cope when she does lose someone.

Answer her questions about death, and don't be afraid to read stories about children whose pets or grandparents die.

Express your own emotions. Grieving is an important part of healing, for both children and adults. Don't frighten your child with excessive grief, but don't make the subject off-limits, either.

Explain that grownups need to cry sometimes, too, or that you feel sad because you miss Grandma. Your grade-schooler is keenly aware of changes in your mood, and she'll be even more worried if she senses that sorrow is a mysterious or taboo subject.

Avoid euphemisms. Common adult phrases for death — "resting in peace," "in eternal sleep" — can be confusing for a child, so don't say that Grandpa is "sleeping" or "has gone away." Even a grade-schooler may secretly worry that she'll die if she falls asleep at night, or that if you go away on a trip, you won't come back.

State the real reasons for the death as simply as possible: "Grandpa had a serious kind of cancer and his body couldn't recover from it." Be clear that we recover from minor illnesses like the ones your child usually has.

Tread carefully when discussing God and heaven. Explanations of death and the afterlife will of course depend on your own religious beliefs. If the concepts of God and heaven will enter into your conversation, think carefully about what you'll say, since words meant to comfort a child may actually confuse her.

If you tell your grade-schooler, "Janie was so good that God wanted her with him," for instance, she may think: If God wanted to take Janie, will he take me too?

Something along the lines of, "We're so sad that Janie isn't here with us and we'll miss her very much, but it's comforting to know that she's with God now," will reassure your child without adding to her worries.

Finally, expect your child to feel some anger at a God who'd let a loved one die.

Be prepared for a variety of reactions. Children not only feel sorrow over the death of a loved one, they may also feel guilt or anger, especially if the deceased was a close family member.

Even if she never says so out loud, a grade-schooler may think her little brother died because she was jealous of him, for example. Or she may be angry that she — or you — couldn't prevent him from dying.

Emphasize to your child that nothing she said or did caused the death, and don't be surprised if she expresses anger toward you, the doctors and nurses, or even the deceased.

Expect the subject to come up repeatedly. Be ready to field the same questions from your child over and over again, and for her to show signs of grief or sadness over a long period of time — even years.

She's also likely to come up with new questions as her awareness of death and her cognitive skills grow, grief counselors say. Don't worry that you didn't explain the death adequately the first time — your child's ongoing questions are normal. Just keep answering them as patiently as you can.

Memorialize the deceased. Grade-schoolers need concrete ways to mourn the death of a loved one. Your child may or may not want to attend a funeral. Funerals can help some children better accept their loved one's death, particularly if you do a careful job of explaining beforehand what the body will look like, what a coffin is, how other people may be acting, and as many other details about the event as possible.

But a child should never be forced to attend such a service. She can light a candle at home, sing a song, draw a picture, or take part in some other ritual observance. It also helps to talk about the good relationship she had with the person who died: "Remember when you and Grandma went blueberry picking? She had so much fun with you."

Discuss miscarriage. If you and your partner have had a miscarriage, your child will grieve over the loss, too — even if she didn't act excited about the pregnancy to begin with. She may feel guilty about the death, especially if she was jealous about the baby getting everyone's attention. She may mourn the loss of the "big sister" role you'd been preparing her for.

And she'll need lots of encouragement to believe that this kind of death is uncommon, especially if you try for another baby. Explain that babies who miscarry are usually not healthy enough to live outside the womb. Let your child say goodbye by drawing a picture or making a special gift for the departed baby.

Don't downplay the death of a pet. Even if this isn't your child's first brush with death, it can be a deeply tragic event for her. A family dog or cat is often a child's first and best playmate, offering unconditional love and companionship.

Try not to say, "Don't feel bad, Rover is in heaven now" — this teaches her that her very real sadness is inappropriate. Instead, offer her lots of sympathy for her loss, and expect the same kinds of ongoing mourning and repeated questions that you'd get if a person she cared for had died.

Help her respond to media coverage of death. Your grade-schooler will undoubtedly hear about the widely publicized deaths of media figures or see news coverage of national disasters or wars. She may be very frightened by misinformation from peers, and she'll definitely pick up on the fact that you're sad or anxious.

Reassure her that although you're sad about what's going on, you're there to take care of her and will do everything you can to keep her safe.

Do your best to get your child's life back to "normal." Don't compound your child's loss by abandoning the schedule and activities that anchor her life and give her a sense of security.

Some upset is to be expected, of course, but the sooner your grade-schooler's routine gets back to normal, the easier it will be for her. She needs to get to bed on time, get up on time, eat meals on time, and go back to the friends and fun she has at school.

Don't try to be perfect. If you're deeply bereaved by a recent death, do your best to guide your grade-schooler through the difficult times, but don't expect yourself to be perfect. It's all right to cry in front of your child, and you can't expect yourself to answer every question perfectly the first time.

Ask for help from friends and relatives, and remember that the more you help yourself cope, the better you'll be able to help your child cope, both now and later.

Get help. If your child seems to be having an especially difficult time coping — if he's terrified of going to sleep, for example, or seems depressed — talk to your healthcare provider about professional counseling.

See tips on answering your grade-schoolers' most common questions about death.

Talking to Kids About Death - Part 1

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