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When we think of the family we already have in mind a type scheme: mother, father and child. But, in reality, we know very well that there is a diversity of families: with one child, several children, one parent, etc. But let's not forget about the families that have adopted a child or those who want to adopt. And these families also have their own story and, in addition, their specific issues related to adoption.
Adoptions are not all the same. Newborns, preschoolers or children older than 6 years may be adopted. Children can remember biological parents or not, depending on the age at which they were adopted and how this was accomplished (from the orphanage, or from a family giving up the child - for example).
Regardless of the history of each adoption, the problem the parent faces is whether to tell the child about it and then - when and how ...
In fact, it has been observed that it is preferable to communicate the origin of the child, and in addition, the faster this is achieved, the better for both the child and the parents.
Relationships based on sincerity are healthier emotionally, less dangerous than those that hide a secret. A child can sense the truth at some point, and then begin to have doubts about its origin, when it may happen to hear a dialogue between parents or relatives, or when at school children talk about resembling their parents. In order to avoid a shocking discovery that can irreversibly destroy family relationships, it is better to tell the truth.
If the child was adopted immediately after birth or shortly after, one can talk to the child from then on. A mother can relate to the child with a warm voice, affectionate "his story" telling him how much he loves him and how much he wanted it. The child perceives everything on an unconscious level, but especially perceives the attention and affection that the mother transmits when telling the story. Of course, it should not be repeated every day, it would be preferable only from time to time, but especially when the mother is relaxed and happy to transmit the same condition to the baby. Then, starting with the age of 3, you can talk about the right time to communicate with the child on this topic. Don't bombard him with information, explain to him at first that he was in the womb with another mother, she is the one who gave birth to him, and then, because they - the parents wanted him very much, they took him to grow. Give this gesture a positive value so that the child can enjoy the status he has. Give gradual information, in the form of short explanations, without making real speeches on this topic, but each time reassure the child of your love and the fact that everything is fine.
After the age of 4, children begin to ask questions about their birth, about their origin. During this period the birth and adoption are confused in their mind and the questions arise which they want to clarify their notions.
C: How did I appear?
A: You grew up in another woman's tummy and then you came into our family.
C: But, then, is that woman not my mother?
A: Yes. But she's another mother. She is the one who brought you into the world. Some children have a mom while others have two.
C: But then who is my real mother?
A: Who cares about you? Who sleeps in the evening? Who tells you stories? Who do you call when you wake up at night? Who do you think is your real mother?
However, avoid using the phrase "your true mother"! You can induce him the idea that adoptive parents are not true parents. You can use the expression "your first mom" or "mom-tummy".
I have given you just a few examples of questions that your child can ask you. It is important to be prepared to respond without anxiety at all. As their capacity for understanding grows and increases, children will be concerned about their status and will continue to question you on this topic. But parents need to show that the family is made up of caring people who love their children, raise them and communicate with them. Thus, children will have a sense of stability and confidence, being prepared to face life.
Diana Paula Stoian,
Specialist in Child Psychology
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8 tips to improve communication with teens
There are many parents of teenagers who feel that there is a growing gap in communication with their children, that no matter how much they try to get closer, they almost always come across short answers that do not give to follow a normal conversation and with the irremediable screen of the cell phone or video games preventing them from really connecting with them.
If you want to improve the relationship with your teenage children, pay attention to all these tips to improve communication with teens. They will be very useful!
It is true (and normal) that as children grow, their friends become a central part of their lives and that conversations or activities that they previously enjoyed with their parents are no longer attractive to them; However, that is not why we must give up having an open communication channel and letting them know that we will always be there when they need us.
Here are some tips to get there:
- Listen to it. If your teenager shares information with you about anything, always listen carefully to him (stop what you're doing) and feel very, very lucky. At this age they share much more things with their friends than with their parents and it is nothing personal, it is a process that occurs naturally, that is why it is so important that when they communicate with us, they find us receptive and willing.
- Manage tips. Not always that our children tell us something, it is because they are waiting for our expert and wise opinion, sometimes they just want to share us. That sometimes is hard for us to understand, because we are always ready to help them solve problems, so we can go out giving them opinions, recommendations and even prohibitions after some casual conversation causing them to think twice the next time.
- Watch your reactions. In those cases in which the information causes you a "panic attack", he pretends to be calm .... suppose he tells you that one of his colleagues got drunk at a party ... do not make any judgments (at least out loud), especially if it is a friend of yours; instead ask key questions to understand the situation; then it is important that you ask him his opinion on the matter and listen carefully; It will be easier then, to reinforce the points that seem significant to you or to give your point of view…. always trying not to fall into extremes. Sometimes it works very well to tell him an anecdote of yours from when you were his age to make clear a lesson or topic that you would like him to reflect on.
- Do not speak ill of their friends. You can have your own judgments about their friends, however, take great care how you express yourself to them. If you throw negative judgments lightly, you can make your child close off and prefer to stay away from his social life, causing a gap in communication with him. If there is a friend whose behaviors seem inappropriate, refer to those behaviors, but not to their person and try to understand what your child finds in that friendship.
- Tell him about yourself. Sometimes we have a crazy yearning for our children to tell us all the details of their lives, but we rarely share topics of ours. Try telling him a little about yourself, your day, your joys, your worries, your memories and wait for his reaction, it will probably be a good way to shorten distances.
- Connect with what you like. This technique almost never fails. All teenagers have their weaknesses: favorite music, singers, movies, youtubers, sports, video games, etc. Be interested in the topics that your child is passionate about, who better than him to answer your questions, you will see how immediately he becomes excited and a new door opens towards communication with him.
- Invite him to his favorite place. It's hard to resist an invitation to your favorite place to eat, have ice cream, or watch a movie; Surprise him from time to time and take advantage of that moment to talk and get closer to him.
- Thank you. When possible, tell him that you appreciate him sharing his things with you, that you love talking with him and that he can always count on you…. Will be back to you very soon!
You can read more articles similar to 8 tips to improve communication with teens, in the category of Communication and socialization on site.
How To Improve Communication Skills? 12 Effective Tips To Improve Communication Skills
How to help children connect with nature without leaving home
We need nature, always; even when for some reason like a disease, we can't. We all, both children and adults, have needs for movement and play without walls, fresh air, earth, a feeling of freedom ... basic needs that, if not met, cause irritability, anger and even sadness. Therefore, following these tips you can help children connect with nature without leaving home.
According to the Journal of Forestry article by Abigail R. Kimbell, Andrea Schuhmann and Hutch Brown, children are spending less and less time in nature. As a consequence, they do not learn to love it and sedentary lifestyle increases. However, we cannot forget that contact with nature and the outdoors is essential to develop creativity and individual happiness, as well as allowing us to release and release tension.
Therefore, in a situation in which we cannot leave the house, it is easy for overwhelm and anguish to determine our behavior and our state of mind. First of all, as an adult, stay calm. You are the pillar that supports, that reinforces, that nourishes, that calms. Our children often do not know how to manage what is happening to them and simply express their discomfort, their anxiety, their uncertainty, their need for air and freedom in many ways, although not always the most pleasant for adult perception. So breathe and when this happens - fights, outbursts, more tantrums than usual, pee on the bed - give her all the love she needs in those moments.
When we can't get close to nature, it is important that he is present in our lives in a simple way and valuing the little things, now more than ever. That is why I encourage you to stay at home and incorporate some proposals that can help maintain our vitamin D, our connection with the natural world and our inner calm.
What can we do so that children maintain their connection with nature while at home? Let's look at some tips.
1. Whenever you can, go out to the balcony, garden or terrace
If you don't have it or you can't, open the curtains and let the light come in through the windows. It is important that it gives us sunlight.
2. If there is sun, take a few seconds to greet him
Close your eyes and imagine that you are taking a sunbath and that it reaches our cells, who become infinitely happy to receive those rays of sun. Let's keep our vitamin D levels high!
3. Open windows every day for a little while
It is important to give us fresh air. And take a few minutes to breathe deeply.
4. Have contact with the natural elements that are around you
If you have the possibility of having natural elements, make proposals where these are the protagonists. Touching the natural element, smelling it, transforming it, painting it… these are ways of connecting with nature.
5. Take advantage of this time to sow
If you have a balcony or terrace, you can always do it in pots outside. If not, inside, with recycled material, it is also a wonderful option. The important thing is to connect with the station where we are at that moment. Time of sowing some species, flowering of others ... It is a way of seeing the evolution of the seed and of teaching children how nature works.
It is precious to see how that seed develops with our care and our attentive gaze. You can approach her every day, sing to her, see how she is doing, pamper her and note her evolution. Soon it will be a small plant that you can transplant. It is a beautiful metaphor to talk with our sons and daughters about the importance of daily care, to be attentive, to take care of each other and to dedicate little time to feed us.
6. Nature sounds
If you have the option of listening to the chirping of the birds from our window, do it a little bit every day. If you can identify which birds or animals you see from there, great! If you can't, I suggest that every day you spend a little time traveling to the forests through the sounds of nature. There are many biophonies that bring us closer to the forests and their magical sounds.
7. Paint nature
There are boys and girls - and adults - who are passionate about painting. I suggest you paint nature where you would like to be at that moment. Countryside? Beach? Forest? Where will you travel with your imagination to enjoy pure air and nature? It can help you to put relaxing music in the background and it is usually a proposal that brings calm.
8. Play with mud or clay
Finally, for those moments of emotional explosion, let's turn to the wonderful world of clay or mud. Of course, communication first of all, but clay is an element that can help us a lot to transform emotions. Its touch evokes and allows to be. Touching clay, without a specific pretense or craftsmanship, with the intention of seeing what appears and what it transforms into; without waiting for a specific result. It is the process that matters here.
Let your imagination run wild because every boy and girl - every adult - will do what they need at that moment. If at the end you want to share, it will be a moment of family bonding. But if you don't feel like it, let us also respect that space for transformation and give each person the option to choose what they want to do with their creation. For this proposal I also recommend calm instrumental music to accompany.
In this period, more than ever, let's connect with nature!
You can read more articles similar to How to help children connect with nature without leaving home, in the category of Environment on site.
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Marie Gervais comments on the DIY session with her two children. It's up to you to play with your budding artists!
Marie Gervais comments on the DIY session with her two children. It's up to you to play with your budding artists!
Processed burgers and sausages, declared carcinogenic
Top 5 Cancer Causing Foods You Should Avoid
Many health problems are passed on to us genetically from the family. the father
diabetes, mother's blood pressure, thyroid, cholesterol problem or family members
cancer in someone, adulthood can stick to our adulthood. This is called “genetic heritage”
It said. Conscious mothers are pregnant
completes their treatment and follows the doctor's rules. But according to experts,
father candidates also starting from the pre-pregnancy feeding patterns
Made at the University of California an
Journal of Fertility and Sterility published the results of the study,
just like the mothers
recommend. Folic acid increases sperm count and density. Dietitian Elvan
Odabaşı emphasizes the importance of male nutrition before pregnancy:
Since men fed rich in minerals, will reduce the number of sperm and sperm
blood pressure, vascular obstruction, cholesterol, diabetes
protected from problems. Selenium, A, C and Vitamin E Supplement Man's Sperm
Increases movements. Especially zinc deficiency due to alcohol use
it can reduce sperm count. ”
WEIGHTS FROM THE FATHER HERITAGE
Proper nutrition of the candidate father, child genetic
some diseases. Diabetes in daughters of obese fathers, for example
sons have a very high rate of heart problems. Remaining from the father to the baby
first heritage weight. So the child of an obese father can become obese in the future.
Elvan Odabaşı, a nutritionist who applied family nutrition therapy before pregnancy.
“Interviews with prospective parents about feeding at least 3 months before pregnancy.
We begin. ” “The new diet is positive on health
it takes time to see the effects. ”
IDEAL MENU FOR THE FATHER CANDIDATE
1. In your daily nutrition program, fish, walnuts,
cardiovascular health such as grapes, nuts, almonds, dark green leafy vegetables
2. Feed your B12, folic acid, zinc,
Plan according to magnesium, iron and vitamin D values. Reinforcement if necessary
3. Up to 2 glasses of wine.
4. Consume at least 450-600 grams of fish per week.
Red meat below 300 grams.
5. Eat plenty of fruit containing vitamin C.
6. Reduce salt.
7. Whole wheat, rye or multi-grain bread
8. Reduce tea and coffee.
Here is what your partner should eat to produce Olympic athletes…
Folic acid: Folic acid before pregnancy
It is a mineral that women should take. However, sperm quality and DNA production
Men also need this substance. Dark green leafy vegetables folic
nuts:Selenium-rich nuts sperm
increases the number and makes them become powerful swimmers.
Tomato: Research in tomatoes
shows that lycopene is good for prostate health.
Acid fruits:Kiwi and orange rich in vitamin C
Fruits such as sperm function increases.
Oily fish:Omega 3-rich fishes male sexual
It is important for the health of organs. It also makes the sperm strong.
Protein: In terms of protein such as meat and eggs
rich foods that strengthen the tails that allow the sperm to swim
Liquids: Fluid consumption is vital. Anhydrous
strong sperm cannot be produced in the body. Healthy, effective and long-lasting sperm
to consume plenty of liquid. However caffeine and alcohol the body is dehydrated
should be consumed less.
Nutritional supplements:Zinc, selenium and folic acid supplements
As it increases the chances of reproduction, it can be preferred under doctor control.
Labels: family, pregnancy, nutrients that improve sperm quality, sperm, sperm production, pregnancy chance, reproduction chance, folic acid,