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Can this be with the father, this with the mother?
Every parent is a familiar situation: one would allow, the other would forbid, the child would be confused. Then, over time, he gently exploits and turns our own insecurities against us, diverging our views. Not easy, but it's up to us how long we leave it
The central point of the parents in the educational field is important"Unfortunately, in some child-rearing situations, we don't understand my husband. I'm home with the kids, and he usually comes home in the evening," he says. Бgi, three children, seven years old Adri, the breech norbiand the three-year-old Kristуf "She falls, and maybe still too crazy, she can't keep out of the rhythm of work, soldier wants to create order in Hungary as well. When they can go out to play in the yard in the evening and play at 8 o'clock, they have to get ready to go to bed and start to go to bed. And I let them play it, because they spent each other in the room all day, now they are not bored, so I talk to you to leave them for a while. , you have to turn off your father, even though you only have ten minutes left, it doesn't matter. Of course I'm just talking to you again because I think it is unnecessarily strict with us, "says the mother.Balбzs in the end, he usually gives the truth to the wife. "When we discuss it shortly, I accept that Бginak he is right. I used to tell her to give birth if I was doing something wrong. But many times I feel overly lenient. I know he is at home with the kids all day and I shouldn't start when I come home to do or not do things, but it's hard to change, let go, "explains Dad, who is an international freight forwarder. "It's best not to run, argue, or want to be smarter about the other," he says. Balбzs. "Last time we went off to the Tropicarium frantically, and at home we talked to each other to try to really shut down, not be nervous, and just do each other. that there is great agreement. "
Find the loopholeUnfortunately, children will sooner or later take advantage of the situation and, even if they do not consciously, find the loophole, they will see how to turn their parenting attitude in their favor. "Lack of Communication Mostly Causes Situations When Parenting Petitions Are Unanimous Between Parents" Share Your Experience with Us Montz Ferencné Children come from unexpected situations to figure out how to take advantage of situations when dad and mom don't agree. The truth is, no one is born to consciously seek conflict, and we educate them, of course, not consciously. But this not only causes us uncomfortable moments, but also confuses the child, who will not know his or her boundaries. . If you really know your couple, you know what they think they would do in a given situation. It is also not fair to instruct the child to the contrary. There are many who have seen or died when, for example, the father releases the child in complete peace, and the mother is worried about himself. Aztбn the opponents comethat mom lets her two button-up ice cream, dad buys it, and at home she gets the baby's throat a thousand tomorrow. Worse, all in front of the kid. At the age of two or three, this is still not intentional, but it is better to start losing the bigger lies. And if we get caught up in a rush, then after we've cleaned up, talk to the child so they don't happen again. So the little one will have the unity with which, believe me, he or she will identify more easily and comfortably because no matter how hard it is to believe, the child needs the limit.
We need safe, unambiguous frames"It doesn't really make sense for a relationship to play in front of a child who's the boss, if we create a competition between each other, because whoever is left behind can feel humiliated," he says. dr. Battonyai Tünde pszichiбter. If we trust the child because we don't want to lay him down, we shouldn't be forced to do it because he destroying authority in front of the child.Many moms make the mistake of being convinced they know better what to do in a given situation. It's true that we are generally more routine, but also respect the paternal frontier of the father, we can publicly assume they are capable of solving the problem. Let's get on with it only when we think there's a big problem. Just ask us if we can help something - the expert advises and adds that we need great domination to act wisely in every easy situation.- Most of all, we women don't let us try to do it right away. talk about whatever you want. Even though it is not worthwhile to dissect each other's words in front of the child, it is not good to ask his opinion if he is forced to make a statement. Children need a safe, clear framework, not that you have to decide between father and mother.Remember that we are basic patterns, now let's learn how to work together with their own peers. Now let's get over the most important social tricks: respect others, conflict management, compromise.
This can be with the father, and only with the mother"In order for everyone to stick to what they need, there is a need for a small, understandable, well-respected and enforceable rule," he says Mike-Varga Csilla She is a mother of three toddlers and a kindergarten teacher and wheelchair worker. These rules are ideally brought to you by the parents, or by the educators in kindergarten and worship. All right at a young age no appeals, must be followed and readybecause the lurk's life can lie on it. As a child changes the rules, there will be things that he or she may fall into, and well, if you understand what you can't. What is never, what is free depending on the situation. This, of course, depends a lot on the principles, the world, the ability and the ability of the couple to do it. Do it for DIY or for wood. And there are things I can do with me. We decide on these together with the children - he explains Csilla. - I think the rules can change as much as children, because children are measured in their own right, not in comparison to others. As a parent and educator, to whom we fit in, this requires much more attention and adaptability, while respecting individual needs.Related articles:
Mick ... Jagger Anglo-Saxon form of Michael, from the Hebrew "mika'el", who is like God. His birthday: September 29th.
Mick ... Jagger
Anglo-Saxon form of Michael, the Hebrew "mika'el", who is like God.
His birthday: September 29th.
Learn more about Michel.
How Parental Alienation Affects Children After Divorce
Parental alienation occurs when one of the parents uses the child as 'affective blackmail' to harm their partner after a separation or divorce. Without a doubt, the one who suffers the most in this situation is the son. The pedagogue Jimena OCampo explains to us in this video how parental alienation affects children after a divorce and why we must protect our children at all times in a case of these characteristics.
Edition: Lola Doménech
You can read more articles similar to How Parental Alienation Affects Children After Divorce, in the category of On-site Education.
I had no idea how infuriating bedtime with small children could be until my kids started sharing a room. I started off as a helpless new mom, quickly turned into an annoying smug one, and then got a serious reality check by the time my first child was six months old.
My kids are 18 months apart, and with a new baby on the way and no 4th bedroom, the two older ones now share a room. If you need to know how to put your kids to bed in 64 easy steps (ha, ha), then I've got you covered.
They both have very different sleep needs: My daughter, almost 2 years old, likes white noise, the room to be dark with the door closed, and doesn't require anything but a kiss and a hug before bed. My son is the firstborn, and we taught him to require a drawn out bedtime routine. I can only blame ourselves for 90% of his sleep issues. He requires the door to be wide open, the hallway light on, 2 books and a snuggle before bed. He usually comes out of his room 2-4 times before he will settle down for the night.
As you can imagine, the first 2 months of room-sharing were H. E. L. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to use that word on the internet, given how proper I always try to be, but there is absolutely no other word for it. Here are a few highlights, so you can understand how desperate I've been for a peaceful night:
Highlight #1: My husband was in charge of putting the kids to bed while I attended an HOA meeting. He texted me, smugly if I might add, at 8:30 p.m. to say both kids were in their room and quiet. I was shocked. He never turned the video monitor on. He finally checked on them, only to discover they had taken every last piece of clothing and book off of their shelves and heaped them into piles on the floor. When we asked my son why they did it, he just kept saying they had to make a nice big mess and they were being very crazy. Um, ok?
My husband responded by unscrewing the lightbulbs and closing the door so they had no choice but to stay in their beds.
The room bomb looked like this, but with clothes and books instead of toys:
Highlight #2: The kids were getting out of bed repeatedly and running down the hallway. After an hour or so I was desperate and crying out of exhaustion, so I held their door shut and asked for help via Facebook. As I cried on my end, holding the door shut, they cried on the other end, wanting to continue their escapes into the hallway of freedom.
2.25 hours later, 1 reversed doorknob, 1 taped off light switch, 2,522 walk backs to their room, and 1 good yell and they finally went to sleep.
I received a lot of great advice, and with a lot of trial and error we have a strict plan we follow every night. Bedtime is pleasurable and fairly easy again.
Our room-sharing bedtime plan:
1. We stagger bedtime. The younger one gets in bed at 7 with the door closed, the older one comes back downstairs to do puzzles or more grown up activities until 8.
2. When the older one goes to bed, we leave the door open fully and the hallway light on.
3. We follow a strict bedtime routine for both: pajamas, brush teeth, sip of water, bathroom, 2 books, bed
4. The first time they leave the room, we walk them back, say goodnight and give them a kiss and a hug. The second time we threaten to close the door if they don't stay in their room, and follow the same plan as first time. The third time we walk them back with no words, close the door, wait a few seconds and then open the door and remind them to stay in bed. This has really worked for us.
5. We made bedtime earlier for the older one. He used to go to bed at 9/9:30 p.m. because he didn't seem tired, but it would still take him an hour to fall asleep. Now he's in bed by 8 PM or so, and he's asleep by 9 p.m.
We were given a lot of suggestions of sleep-saving products, and we tried out several.
Here are my favorites:
1. Door Monkey
Pros: This product allows the door to be locked but in a slightly ajar position. Since my son can easily open and close doors, this was a great crutch in those first weeks. If the kids kept coming out in the hallway, I would close the door using the door monkey. They still got hallway light in their room, but they couldn't keep escaping.
What to watch: I tend to have fears about emergencies, and in an emergency my kids would be unable to get out of their room with the door monkey engaged.
2. Twilight Turtle and 3. Elephant Slumber Buddy
Pros: The light is gentle and quite soothing, the music is lovely. Both kids like sleeping with the Twilight Turtle and Slumber Buddy, and they seem less scared on nights when they have them.
What to watch: Ali consistently knocks the Twilight Turtle in her sleep, accidentally turning on the music, which in turn wakes up her big brother.
4. OK to Wake Alarm Clock & Night-Light
Pros: My son adores this clock. Some nights I find him snoring away in his bed, snuggling it like a prized stuffed animal. You can set this clock to shine bright green when it's OK for your child to get out of bed. Raffi thinks this is the coolest and will stare at his clock intently until it shines green. He then bolts down the hallway, clock in tow, to show us the cool green light.
What to watch: If your child does not wake up at a consistent time, it can be frustrating for them. On the rare days Raffi sleeps past the green light or wakes up too soon before it, he becomes impatient and upset that he missed the green light time.
Pros: I had previously underestimated the power of books at a young age. It seems to me that my kids have a far easier time staying in their beds until they fall asleep if they have good books to enjoy. I now keep their room well-stocked with their favorite books.
Cons: Some nights my son will be awake for hours "reading."
6. Flashlight Friends
Pros: This is a combination between between a flashlight and a stuffed animal. I love that kids can snuggle while also getting enough light to read a book or not be scared in a dark room. We've tried regular flashlights, but they always get lost in the bed during the night. This is preferable.
What to watch: There seem to be a lot of users out there who have had issues with their Flashlight Friends breaking. We have one and it's still working just fine, 2 months later.
For more sleep solutions, check out: Getting your baby to sleep: products that help.
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.