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6 good tips not to fall and spoil children too much
Many parents fall into the trap of spoiling children too much and give them everything they ask for so that they can be happy. Some believe that, otherwise, the little ones could have some kind of trauma in the future that triggers resentment towards the parents for not giving 'enough affection'. But is this really loving children? This premise can easily be misinterpreted in a discourse change on how to show love, such that 'if you don't give me what I want then you don't want me'.
The capricious behavior of children is normal at certain ages according to Freudian theory of psychosexual development. We must bear in mind that during the first years, the little ones are guided by their instinct for self-preservation, looking around for security and trustThis includes objects that attract their attention and that they want to always have with them, regardless of whether they belong to others or if they cannot give them to them. Because for them their feeling is the only thing that should matter.
This behavior diminishes once children overcome the 'Oedipus complex' and parents begin to teach values and moral rules, which helps modulate selfish behavior, in addition to learning about empathy and responsibility. This results in the recognition of needs and desires, but more importantly on how to differentiate them, since they cannot before.
Even today, many parents continue to believe that the best way to calm a child's temper tantrums is by giving them something. However, this behavior only makes the child learn that, every time they have a bad behavior, they will be rewarded by their parents. Therefore, that is the way you should act to get what you want or, failing that, something that pleases you.
What are the dangers of giving children everything they ask for and, in this way, indulging them? We see some of the consequences.
- Wanting more and more
Well, it is not only about giving him something to reduce his anxiety or discomfort, but the child will demand more and more, until creating a vicious circle that is difficult to break that will remain with him until he grows up and can use it to his advantage to continue satisfying their whims. Either in their interpersonal relationships, academic performance, moral indiscretions or transgressions towards others.
- Need vs wants
Another factor that affects is the lack of recognition and discrimination between needs and desires. In the absence of prior teaching on how to have a gap between the two, for children it will be exactly the same and they will not take no for an answer if they want to have something, no matter that it is impossible for parents to get it or it affects a third party.
- Little appreciation and empathy
As children do not learn to recognize what they want and what they need, they stop valuing what they have and even stop appreciating what others give them, even if they do so with the best intention. They no longer enjoy simple things or other scenarios, having in their mind a fixed idea of how their life should be and what should be in it.
- Dependence and co-dependency
Failure to modulate this capricious behavior can lead to two equally worrying aspects in their future: Dependence on people who they know can satisfy their whims, that is, maintaining relationships only out of interest. Or extreme manipulation towards the people around him to continue pleasing him using emotional games.
So, what should we take into account so as not to overindulge children and prevent them from becoming capricious? Let's see some keys.
1. Goal planning
From complying with the daily routine at home, to doing their homework ... It is very important that children have an organization for their day to day, as this gives them a guide to action and helps them regulate their disposition of the time to do the activities they want to do during this.
2. Use of educational consequences
Educational consequences are an alternative to traditional punishments that propose a more positive way for children to learn the consequences of what they have done wrong. It is about the little ones being able to repair the damage they have caused from their behavior.
3. Management of frustration
Children succumb very quickly to what they cannot do, becoming anxious and irritable people and it is precisely in those moments where parents choose to give them a whim to calm them down. Instead, you can give your child some object that can relax him (such as an anti-stress toy for children), play with him, explain that it is okay to make mistakes, how he can learn from them and guide him so that he can solve his problem.
4. Explain differences between need and desire
Although children still do not have the necessary mental capacity to understand complex concepts, you can explain to them through drawings, stories or simple examples for them the difference between wanting something because it caught their attention and something that they need for their development. It is very important to bear this in mind, since children always ask for explanations and when they do not get answers they assume that there is no reason why they should not continue asking for things.
5. Ask them why they want it
Knowing the reasons why children want something is key to determining whether it is a whim or they have valid reasons for wanting it. But keep in mind to put everything in perspective. 'Can you have it later', 'what if you don't have it?', 'Is there something else to replace it?'
6. Teach them to value what they have
The best way to diminish the natural selfishness of children is for them to begin to appreciate what they have. To do this, encourage them to use their things more and teach them the value of giving away the toys they no longer use to other children who probably would like to have them. Take them to volunteer or participate in toy exchanges.
As always, it is not about taking away or stopping giving gifts to the little ones, but about teaching them that they must earn it with their actions and take responsibility for their actions.
You can read more articles similar to 6 good tips not to fall and spoil children too much, in the category Limits - Discipline on site.
Crawling is a great advance in the development of the baby, it allows him greater autonomy and, of course, the power to discover, test, feel, explore ...
Babies usually begin to crawl between 6 and 9 months, and although some skip this stage, the benefits it provides are enormous. Although it seems strange, crawling will help the baby to read and write in the futurebecause it stimulates, among other things, fine motor skills that will result in good control of the writing stroke.
The baby's crawling and first steps stage is one of the most exhausting for parents. Our son already has some autonomy and decides to explore everything that is within his reach, be it the toilet brush or the drawers and doors that are at his height. You stop looking at him for a second and he's about to put that little toy of his older brother in his mouth.
Their curiosity is insatiable and sometimes we are tempted to sit them in their chair so that they are still, however, far from doing this, we must stimulate crawling as it has multiple benefits, among them, acquiring literacy skills.
1 - Crawling helps the baby to exercise and perfect eyesightLearn to focus both eyes and do it at a distance. This will help you to place the book at the correct distance when you begin to read and write.
2 - It stimulates the tactility of the palm of the hand, that is, it acquires the necessary sensitivity to be able to have a writing stroke control. The palm of the hand is massaged as the baby crawls and this sends information to the brain about textures and sensations.
3 - The crossed movement pattern is developed that consists of moving the right arm and the left foot and vice versa. The hemispheres of the brain work in a coordinated way and can perform simultaneous movements with both sides of the body, such as passing an object from one hand to the other or writing on a sheet of paper, in the future.
4 - Crawling develops hand eye coordinationIn such a way that when the baby crawls he establishes a similar distance between the eye and the hand that he will need later when reading and writing.
5 - When crawling the baby has to hold its weight with both hands, thus acquiring stability in the shoulders and palms of the hands. Both are strengths for fine motor skills, which is what you will later exercise when drawing or writing.
6 - When a baby crawls it is promoting spatial awareness, learns to know its size and that of the objects around it. In this way, he gains a sense of depth, quantity or size, something important in learning to read and write.
You can read more articles similar to Why is crawling important for reading and writing, in the category of on-site development stages.
Bilingual education for children
On April 29, 2011, "Winnie the Pooh" hits theaters. Disney returns to the Hundred Acre Forest with Pooh's first big-screen adventure in more than 35 years. With the charm, wit and fantasy of the original short films, this new film brings audiences together to enjoy the adventures of a charming bear and his friends Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Kanga, Roo and Igor, who has lost his tail. Inspired by the stories of A.A. Milne from the books on the Disney classic, hand drawn,
You can read more articles similar to Winnie the Pooh, movie trailer., in the Movies category on site.
Name Jamal - Meaning of the Name
The 7 dumbest products I bought at 3 a.m.
For the first few months of my son’s life, he woke up like clockwork around 3 a.m. Each night, I would pick him up, plop down in the rocking chair, and nurse him for 20-30 minutes before he fell back asleep. More often than not, I spent that time scrolling through Amazon reviews on my phone and pressing Buy Now.
I’m not the only new mom guilty of a heavy thumb – and I suspect I’m not the only one who ended up with regrettable products. We had a steady stream of Amazon boxes arriving at our door, and let’s be honest: They couldn’t all be winners.
Before I run through the losers, a caveat: product recommendations are very personal – every family has different needs and styles. Some of my "losers" might work well for other parents (just read the reviews!).
A pillow to correct flat head
Infant torticollis made my son's neck turn more easily to the left, which caused that side of his head to develop a flat spot. He had physical therapy to stretch out his neck and encourage him to look the other way while awake, but he still primarily turned his head to the left while he slept. After two months of diligently trying to turn his head while he slept (only to have him turn it right back), I bought a very expensive pillow that was supposed to help correct flat head (though these products are not recommended for safe sleep).
However, I ordered it just as he started to roll around in his sleep. We only used it for a few days before we gave up. Thankfully, once he started rolling around, the flat spot disappeared. But the pillow was non-refundable (and not safe).
What to buy instead: Skip the pillows altogether, as they are not recommended for safe sleep. Instead, babies should sleep on a firm, flat mattress with just a fitted sheet (and nothing else!). Ask your doctor about any flat spots you notice on your baby’s head; repositional therapy is most commonly recommended.
Gimmicky sleep sacks
There are lots of products out there that claim to help babies sleep better during the infamous 4-month sleep regression. During this time, many parents stop swaddling their babies because they're starting to roll over, and sometimes babies wake up more often even if they had been sleeping through the night. It’s brutal, and thus, products.
There’s the Swaddle UP, the Zipadee-Zip, the Nested Bean, Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit, and more. Some parents swear by them. I tried the Zipadee-Zip and the Nested Bean, and neither really worked markedly better than a normal sleep sack. They were just more expensive. In the end, it just took some time for my son to adjust, but he eventually got used to being swaddle-free without the gimmicks.
What to buy instead: Carter’s offers affordable sleep sack sets in light cotton for the summer and warm fleece in the winter. A set of two is often less than $20, and it seems like Carter's is always running a great sale.
Light projection toy
One day, I was lamenting to another mom about my failed attempts to put my son down “drowsy but awake.” Getting him to fall asleep on his own seemed key to our sleeping woes, yet I had no idea how to do it.
This mom told me that her daughter fell asleep on her own watching the lights and movements of her mobile. My mobile (while very cute) doesn’t move, and I bought a night light that played sounds, but didn’t project light, so I decided that must be the answer.
I scoured Amazon and settled on a very adorable plush owl that can attach to your crib and project colorful stars. Unfortunately, every way I tried to position the owl made the lights point towards the inside of the crib, and that did a better job of keeping him awake than helping him fall asleep. Eventually we settled into a nighttime routine – but he still falls asleep in my arms.
What to buy instead: Skip the light show altogether. We love the Hatch Baby Rest, which acts as a nightlight and sound machine that you can control from an app on your phone. It’s pricey though – so make sure you register for it!
I told my husband I was writing this story and he replied, “You’re including the Snuzzler, right?” I will never live the Snuzzler down.
The Snuzzler is essentially a full body pillow for infants that you can use as stroller insert. Another mom told me she used it to support her baby front-facing in the stroller when he was still slightly floppy, which intrigued me. At that point, my son was about 6 weeks old and I literally bought anything recommended to me, without thinking about what we actually needed. I didn’t even want to put my son front-facing in the stroller (I wanted to see his face!). So the Snuzzler just sat around for months as a reminder for me to think before buying.
What to buy instead: Nothing! The moral of this story is to take some time to think about what you really need before buying every little thing that someone else recommends. And many strollers are not intended for newborns – check your stroller's manual to make sure your baby is developmentally ready for yours.
When I was able to stop nursing my son in the middle of the night and calm him with a pacifier, it was a beautiful thing. But then came the issue of finding the pacifier in the crib in the middle of the night and popping it back in as quickly as possible. I was so sure that a glow-in-the-dark pacifier would help us find it in a split second. Unfortunately, they don’t really glow in the dark -- at least not consistently in a room with a nightlight. I just paid a dollar more for a pacifier.
What to buy instead: Instead of relying on glow-in-the-dark functionality, buy a couple of extra normal pacifiers and keep them near the crib at night so you can easily find one. We love the MAM sensitive skin pacifiers that keep my drooling baby’s skin rash-free.
Nursing pads in bulk
I accidentally ordered a Costco-sized box of nursing pads shortly after coming home from the hospital – and then I found yet another box of the same pads that I already had received as a gift. It was truly more pads than any new mom could ever need – especially since I didn’t really leak that much, and when I did, I found the pads so itchy I couldn’t stand them. I gave them away to various friends and donated the unopened boxes. My tip is to wait to see if you actually need nursing pads before you buy a gazillion of them.
What to buy instead: One item I found very handy to have in bulk was breast milk storage bags. They are super portable, easy to store, and you can use them for other things once you’re done breastfeeding.
Something I’ve realized: a wipe is a wipe is a wipe. Do you really need separate diaper wipes, hand and face wipes, pacifier wipes, surface wipes – and every other kind of wipe out there? No. Now I buy wipes that are primarily water-based (like Water Wipes or Pampers Pure) and they work for all our needs.
What to buy instead: If you’re worried about your baby’s pacifier dropping on the ground, buy a clip instead! TYRY.HU clips are adorable and double as teethers.
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.
Hairstyle tips for little girls
Here are some tips on how to change your baby's hairstyle!There is a transitional, mid-stage phase when the baby does not have such a small amount of hair, but we can't even talk about cool hair. It's short, it's back long, but if we take it back, it's going to be boyish, and we generally like it if our baby looks like a little boy. also hairstyles. How? We'll show you some ideas!Headbands can be a great solution! Available in a variety of colors and patterns, you can perfectly match the hairstyle with your outfit. If, for example, they went to a more elegant venue, such as a wedding, your baby might be the most generous thanks to a well-chosen headband!Lounger on the headboard - just a slap in the face, it's a show.If your child's hair is too small to clap on top of his head into a harpoon, make a harp on each side as if he were a horn. That's cute, isn't it?With the help of a light-eyed hair curler, you can stave off naughty curls to keep them out of their little eyes. (VIA)