Treatment of open mechanical wounds in children
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What is the boy doing at the time?
He usually plays "men's games" in which strength and agility matter. Sometimes, he will be interested in a crying soft toy, but encouraged by the environment to other games, he abandons the initial desire to learn from small parental roles. After all, it will not be "soft" and "girls' games are not for little heroes." Lulling toys is not very masculine ... Later it can be even worse ...
Nobody raises boys as a father
The boy is growing and his knowledge is not updated. Nobody brings him up as a father. He is not in a bad situation as long as he has a wise mother who engages him in the care of younger siblings (if he has them) and does not treat him like a "prince", which has no duties even in many years and a dad who can with him talk about feelings and a sense of duty. However, if he belongs to the average family, he is most likely brought up in the spirit of stereotypes ... And these are still alive.
This is interestingly illustrated by an anecdote described on one of the blogs. The young mother was supposed to meet her friends at the restaurant. There she came across her mother-in-law. A shocked old lady asked where her son was and why she was alone. She answered truthfully - she looks after the children. The reaction was strong and quite surprising for a woman - "He alone with the children, and you here ?!" in the guess "You are bad, you found a babysitter ... And you leave the house as you could."
Although the family model has changed significantly over the centuries, more and more fathers actually look after their offspring, but the burden of responsibility for children still lies too often with the woman. She is considered the main babysitter. Not male. In some relationships, the matter is simple - "you are from education. I don't have to have children. If we decide on them, it's your duty. " Will you say impossible? Exaggerated? And yet ... I know cases that are surprisingly met with understanding on the side of women - especially mummy man and ... mother-in-law. It's so manly. This "baby is from childhood matters. Let the men make money ... "
A boy doesn't have to be a good father in the future?
Gentlemen are brought up as good employees, resourceful entrepreneurs, people who can settle in life. Their success is measured by their professional status, the amount of money they earn and in a smaller sense their ability to be a father and educational effects. Being a dad in male circles is not seen as a dream to come true, but rather as another point to fulfill somewhere between building a house and planting a tree. Of course, there is no shortage of men dreaming of a child, but more often these desires have a very unreal image ...
The question is, in a sense, it's not our fault, us boys, that little men don't learn the role of dad from a small age?
Why are we so afraid of excessive interest in boys stereotypically considered to be objects for girls? We discourage from prams and dolls, we wonder if the boy is developing well? Something that should please us - sensitivity and commitment - worries us? Is it really impossible to develop the bravery, strength and qualities necessary for a good father? It can't be reconciled?
A man in female roles ...
There is also the other side of the coin in which primal instincts come to the fore. A childless man who admits that he likes children and additionally works in professions considered female, e.g. is a kindergarten teacher - raises fears and is considered "strange". He is almost forced to prove that he likes children like his colleagues, not in a dark basement or in the bathroom.
A sincere interest in the development of preschoolers, the organization of classes and circles by a man is received with amazement and embarrassment. Women feel that a man needs to be checked to see if he is hurting the child ...
A friend once confided that she would rather not leave her own children under the care of our mutual friend's husband. Not because he suspects something, but just in case. I feel more comfortable if I entrust this task to a woman ...
And how to be smart here? How to teach boys sensitivity and commitment, if we are also afraid that we will overdo it and the young man will be considered "weird"? The good news is that, fortunately, in most cases learning is not needed, it is enough to observe the father who is involved in the process of raising his father. Dad present and wise.